Eagles and Pigeon Goo
Volume 11, Number 44
Issue 540
As I‘ve gotten older, I have developed some signature sayings. I guess that I have turned into my father because he had his and I have mine. Though I think we all do to some extent (“the grass is always greener on the other side“ is a lame example), I probably have more than most folks and many of my clients have told me so. The fun thing about using creative analogies is that they make people smile and think while I am relating to them on a basic human level. Using them also diffuses anger and misguided passion.
One of my favorites is that “its hard to soar with the eagles when you are stuck in pigeon goo.” Simply said, I intend to mean that it is hard to make good decisions and be proud of them when you are mired in minutia that has arisen for one reason or another.
Being mired in minutia is most tragic when it comes from being unable to make business decisions for business reasons and/or when incompetent people prey on highly competent ones. Generous people are taken advantage of by selfish people in regards to both time and money. Good decision makers are fearful of making objective decisions because someone’s feelings may get hurt. Common courtesy and respect for the value of someone’s time and talent are disregarded by not listening and communicating inefficiently.
The use of the fax machine, voice mail and e-mail complicate our world. People use them to convey information in improper forms and with an improper level of respect. People get bold to be critical because they are able to mask their “being scared” with a fax, voice mail or e-mail rather than simply picking up the telephone to have a live interplay.
I’m in the business of helping people but it is difficult to help people when they don’t listen to the simplest way to handle situations. Though I try to give every single piece of advice on the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Simple, Simple, Simple), it seems people don’t want to accept the simplest solution that I offer and want to continue making things more complicated by shopping for advice.
Recently, the Virginia Department of Taxation had a tax amnesty period. The “devil” was mired in the details. In addition to people who owed specific amounts, there were thousands of instances were the Department’s records indicated that a specific form had never been filed--MOST OF THE TIME ONES THAT WOULD HAVE NO TAX DUE. Instead of indicating that a form had to be filed first before a dollar amount was determined (that could then be paid), someone had the great idea to put $4,000 (exactly) standard assessments as a place-holder where forms were missing. I actually took more telephone calls from people who had lost sleep and become frantic over these bogus $4,000 assessments than any other situation. The state employee who made this decision complicated the lives of thousands of people and caused much stress unnecessarily.
Several times a day I take calls from strangers who are shopping for what they want to hear. Instead of choosing one expert based on credentials and “bonafides,” they shop every CPA in the telephone book. Since financial consulting, including tax preparation, is an art and not a science, they will receive many different recommendations and then still do nothing but now they can blame the profession in general for confusing them (and, maybe, rightfully so).
I receive a dozen or so e-mails a week that take hundreds of words to discuss a situation that could have been handled more easily and more succinctly using one telephone call and with immediate personal resolution. I often receive aggressively-worded faxes and after-hours voicemails that jump to conclusions or convey routine events in highly-charged emotional ways. This exacerbates difficult situations and it makes it difficult to remain objective.
Though I don’t like to think about it, I think I handle the third most difficult profession well (being a mother is #1 and being an attorney is #2). I try to make it fun for people to have their questions answered and their advice given about something no one likes: taxes. This would be a lot better if people just picked up the telephone and used common courtesy. I’d be more objective in rendering advice, always free because I don’t bill for telephone calls, because I’m a better decision maker when the facts are conveyed in a respectful and pleasing manner.
I’m in the business of handling stressful situations and bad news. No one likes paying taxes, handling notices from the IRS or working through tough-to-understand concepts. It’s always best to follow the respectful KISS principle and you will see that this CPA works very hard--night and day, 365 days per year--to be the solution and not the problem.
David B. Robinson, CPA
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